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Posted at 12:13 pm under Parenting
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Cross posted at: http://www.thecore4.com/?p=2613

So my wife is heading out to visit friends for a few days. That means me, my 2 sons (5yrs and 15 Mos), my dog and the house for 6 days.

Acquaintances in our lives are soooo scared. la roulette de zidanejeux de planche a rouletteblack jack forwww jeux casino comcasino slotslots machinesslots casinosno deposit required casino bonusblack jack bootsjeux de poker casinojeux video casinojouer ? la roulette onlinecasino black jackjeu onlinejack black spider manjeu la boule casinoblack jack roofjeux de la roulette russeroulette gratuitescasino et bonusle baccaratdes jeux de casinojeu slots casino en ligneguide casino en lignejeu du casino gratuitesvideo slot machinejeu slots2006 casino gamescasino argent gratuitesle jeux casinoroulette gratuitementgagner ? la roulette en ligneplay free kenoroulette russecasino gratuites pour le funla fran?aise des jeuxpoker a telechargerpoker games onlinecomment t?l?charger jeu pokert?l?charger gratuitement de pokertelecharger partie pokertournoi poker internet,jeux de poker sur internet,poker internetpoker holdemjouer poker texasdes r?gles du jeu du pokerregle du jeu poker texasla r?gle du poker texas holdemjeu pc pokerjouer poker onlinepoker gratuites francais One of my son’s teachers said, “Uh oh, what’s lunch gonna be like for the kids.” I had to point out that I ALWAYS make lunch for the kids! I get them up, I feed them, I change the baby’s diaper, I play with them and I put them to bed…all the time.

Now as Chris Rock said, “You’re supposed to take care of your kids. Whaddya want a cookie?” so I don’t want kudos, I want the world to realize that people are people some have strengths in one area others in others. Quit stereotyping.

Posted at 3:08 pm under Parenting
2 Comments

How do you teach your kids. Sounds like a simple question but there’s a lot to it. Tons of things for them to learn, academics, life and safety lessons. Will your kids listen? Are you being too tough? Well, hat’s off to this mom!

“Meanest mom on the planet.”

Posted at 11:00 pm under Parenting
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I know how much our lives change when we become parents.  But it was really brought home to me today.  Alice, who’s about to turn 4, asked me what my name was.

“Mandy” I said.  “You already know that, Alice.”

She smiled at me, as she replied “Yes.  But you’re real name is Mummy.”

 Sweet.

Posted at 7:48 am under Parenting
3 Comments

This was a big birthday month for us. AJ turned one, Michael turned 40 and I hit the ripe young age of 42.
I find myself looking for what I want in the midst of the diapers, the dishwasher and laundry. As I watch AJ grow and explore, delighting in every new discovery, I continue to struggle to find meaning for me, Caryn - not me the wife or Mommy. It’s funny how I have a certain type of time as I take care of AJ. I’m not able to really focus on anything too involved because I need to keep an eye on him but the lack of mental stimulation can feel torturous.

I have worked hard to expand my circle of friends and am thankful to have more connections but still, the nature of my job as Mom has me spending a fair amount of time alone. I think a lot about what I would be doing if I had more time and independence but I don’t delve too far into it because I find myself thinking things like “I can’t now” or “how can I do two jobs at once?”

Some days continue to be better than others. As I walk around in the city I see other mommies with their little ones and I wonder, are they feeling the same way too? Are they truly ok?

As I turned 42 I found myself saying “so this is it? This is life?” Please understand, I adore my family and could not be more dedicated. But this is about me. Who am I in the big scheme of things and how do I find fulfillment for me as an individual woman on this planet. Today it all feels very confusing and I struggle to feel connected to my truth.

Please tell me what you think - I welcome your sharing.

Warmly,

Caryn

Posted at 10:57 am under Parenting
2 Comments

Whew! I’m so glad Michael is home. Today was so hard for me. I felt so trapped in what has been feeling like a mindless job of homemaker. I was filled with anger and resentment and hated everyone and everything. It was just awful.

My perspective is better now and the feelings have passed but they come up easily and often. I think it is connected to AJ’s mobility and how that changes my role. You know how it goes. Once they’re mobile, there’s no turning away.

I have that drowning feeling like there is no getting away from these feelings of drudgery like I’m a wash woman. I find myself irritated with Michael but I’m being really good about not blaming him. He is doing nothing wrong. It’s circumstance. It’s hard to not be envious and resentful of what seems like a freedom for him, going off to work.

I know the grass is always greener on the other side. November puts AJ in daycare 2 full days instead of babysitting. A bit more time away from me but I think he’ll be OK.

(pause)

I just sat back and took a deep breath as I stopped to think about what to write next.

I thought about how I feel a bit better now and am glad I can talk about this here. I feel like everyone will understand and it makes me feel a bit better.

I must stop here. I only had a few minutes. Dinner is waiting.

Tell me what you think.
Caryn

Posted at 7:42 pm under Parenting
3 Comments

Parents everywhere worry about outside influences on their children.  For sensitive  parents, the concern can be far greater.  We know how strongly we are affected by things going on around us, and we naturally fear that our children will be liable to the same stresses and influences.

Both of my girls have recently started playing games where there is always a “bad guy”.  I’m constantly hearing phrases from them like “don’t let the bad guy get me” or “there’s a bad guy coming” or “I’ll be the bad guy and you be the good guy.” 

I can’t help but wonder where this comes from.  Of course we don’t allow them to watch violent TV, so how are they hearing about bad guys?  And  more importantly, how do I assure them that we will keep them as safe as possible, and never let the “bad guys” get them?

I hope that they are able to trust us enough to feel safe and secure in their lives, and that the “bad guys” are only ever part of their games.

Posted at 3:10 am under Parenting
3 Comments

So I’m getting clearer on what I need to have in my life as a Mom so I feel stimulated in the same way I was when I was working. When I talk about this topic, I find myself talking about how I miss the creativity, brainstorming and problem solving of my “previous life”. (I know, your were thinking I needed more laundry, dishes, cleaning and poopy diapers.)

So, in response to this clarity, I’ve joined a Masterminds Group within my coaching community. The invitation I received from my one of my fellow coaches to join the group read as follows:

“I am creating a mastermind group of coaches who would meet weekly, or biweekly, via conference call for: support, inspiration, encouragement, motivation, brainstorming, problem solving, networking, and spiritual connection.”

This feels like a small step towards what’s missing but I need to be careful to not take on more than I can chew. My little gremlin, Overwhelm, is always lurking in the background, waiting to send up those warning flags idicating I have too much going on and need to retreat. I proceed with caution but remember that as I grow, I also get stronger and more capable of doing all that I need do without overwhelm.

So our first meeting is 2 weeks from today and I’m excited. I’ve scheduled the babysitter to come a bit early so AJ doesn’t interrupt my call and I’m looking forward to just participating. I’m not sure what it will be like, what other’s expectations are or how it will roll out but I’m looking forward to the mental stimulation. I’ll keep you posted.

I welcome hearing about what things you are doing to work towards this type of balance in your life. If magically there were enough hours (and energy) in the day to do it all, what is your fantasy career (including homemaker) and what does it look like?

I look forward to hearing from your imagination

Warmly,

Caryn

Posted at 1:31 pm under Balance, Parenting
3 Comments

Well…..I made it this far. AJ (Alexander James) will be 8 months on the 30th. I have to say, he is truly a great kid. So happy and playful. He’s a strong guy, often pulling the “surf board act” when you go to put him on the floor. Really funny. Sean is great with him and I’m really proud of Michael and I for all our hard work and just doing the best we can.

I feel our success has relied on:

Love
Consciousness
Consistency
Hard Work
and Strength

I was so afraid before AJ was born. How would I do it? How would I manage with two? How would I be different than my Mom?

But I did it or I’m doing it. Now I will tell you, my life is profoundly challenging but will also say that I continue to get happier and happier just as I did when I was younger and my life started to come together as an adult, a young woman making her way in the world. I grew then as I grow now.

A mate, a home, children - a whole new life. All of this change has sparked a new wave of growth and expansion. These things have shaped and molded who I am and the direction in which I go.

As I look back I remember the feelings of terror from the emergency C-section as I felt like my body was being pulled apart. It’s almost as if I was put back together a little differently as I stepped through the doorway of this next phase of life. I can do the things I thought I couldn’t - I am strong - I am a great Mommy, imperfect in my own beautiful little ways.

With much warmth,

Caryn

Posted at 9:47 am under Parenting
2 Comments

Jen shares about her experience from a previous post:

June 16th, 2007 | 7:19 pm:

“I have been looking all day for some mom based chat room and have not been able to find one. I feel like the only mother in the world that has ever been stressed out. I only have one daughter but am pregnant again and am a sahm. I feel bad because i get so stressed with her and when I say anything to her dad his reply is yeah his job is stressful to and then he has to come home and deal with me, and how he would love to be able to stay home with her all day. Part of my stress I know is from lack of sleep but I also feel like there is nobody to talk to we just moved and I do not know the area at all or anyone here. I really feel like evry night when my daughter goes to sleep I just want to cry because I wish that she had a better mom. One who was more patient, and always loving. I just fee like a really bad mom and its starting to really bring me down and now I think I already am feeling this bad and pretty soon Im gonna have two. I feel like it would be alot eisier if her dad was more supportive and just let me vent but he just discounts everything I say like I am just being a baby. Actually I here the phrase “Boo Hoo” from him alot when I start trying to talk to him. Well If you get a chance write back and if not thanks for reading this.”

Posted at 2:13 pm under Parenting
4 Comments